13 January 2013

Housekeeping

It's late. It's 11pm, and tomorrow morning I'm going to make that my excuse.

Horrid Milk has been purged, emptied out like an 18th century chamber pot (google it). Every post, every thought, every minute of the last four years, tossed away. My first thought upon completing the mission was "What the hell have I just done? I can't get that back!!" But when I'm honest with myself, both my reasons for starting this blog and keeping it were lost in the past.

It's only recently that I've been able to let go of anything at all. I'm a "keeper" - I don't like the term "pack rat" because I didn't hold on every everything, just some of everything. Some of all the things that remind me of days, memories, friends, "that time when..." I didn't like throwing things away, and certainly didn't like having to change things.

It's perfectly okay to be nostalgic, but I think some of my anxiety sprang came from me forgetting that all that stuff, the memories, the feelings, and "that time when..." don't go away when you empty out your pockets.

And I think it's time to make something new out of all those experiences and moments that I tried so hard to keep separate and special and crystal clear. I'm tired of looking at them. I want to go out and do stuff.

So I cleaned house.

I've dumped off all the old clothes, gotten rid of some of the old shoes, left behind a few of the old hobbies, and all the old posts.

Horrid Milk is my new space now, and five years later, I think it's been really worth scrubbing the dust off this old thing.

Over and out.
Because Teli says so.

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