11 August 2013

Some things are just not a Status

What is Facebook for?

For me, it's like my address book for keeping up with all the people spread across all the states, and all the countries that are friends and family I couldn't reach any other way. It's not for bereavement. 

Like probably everyone, I've lost people I love. I've felt the need to talk to someone- anyone, to help me deal with grief, and I've scribbled out my feelings on tear-stained scraps of paper that still make me cry when I occasionally come across them. 

I haven't posted on Facebook. 

It's not for me to tell others how to handle their suffering. It's none of my business if it makes you feel better- in fact, if it helps you cope, then DO IT. 

I - personally- because this is my damn blog- can't do that, and won't do that. To me, that's not what Facebook is for, because I feel like Facebook is secretly making an arse of me. 

And that's fine- I'm okay with it. I get on there and FB-stalk people, "Like" cat GIFs, and post pictures from my holiday and cryptic statuses that passive-agressively handle my internet biz-naz, and that's all good. No big deal, but when I want to share my grief, it's not something for people to hit the 'Like' button on. It's not a Like moment, and I'm not going to Like your status mourning your loved one. 

I just can't. 

We all handle grief differently. That's okay. Some people use Facebook for different things, and different reasons, and have different feelings about it than I do- that's okay too. 

This is just how I feel. Maybe I'm old school, but when I'm dealing with feelings like that, with emotions that big and unwieldy, I'm going to put pen to paper. I'm going to cry all over it and screw it up and anger because it doesn't do it justice. Then I'm going to hide it away where only I will ever find it again, and read it sometimes to remind me to hold tight to the ones that are here now, and hang on to the memories when they're not. 

But that's just me. Thoughts?

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